Today marks four weeks since my Dad took his last breath. Many days it still doesn't seem real, and I think I'm just walking through a bad dream that I'll hopefully wake up from soon. But then I start each day needing to remind myself that my dad is gone. The magnitude of that is so huge and unreal. Most days I feel like I'm doing okay, but weird things trigger my tears. It can just be a small comment that wouldn't have an effect on anyone who isn't going through this, but some words just stick to me and cause my heart to break. It's not anyone's fault, it's just grief. I can't walk into a church service of any kind without turning into a blubbering mess. This is the single hardest thing I've ever had to walk through in my life. The pain of the loss will never go away, but I know it will subside as time goes on. I will always miss my fathers presence in my life, and the hopes that I had for my life as his daughter that will never come to fruition. These days are hard, but I'm making my way through them. Sometimes just minute-by-minute. I miss those kind eyes.
|(Originally posted on October 8, 2015, the day my Dad took his last breath)|
Dear dad, this is how I want to remember you. I love you and miss you already.
March 3, 1952 - October 8, 2015